I think that if I didn’t have anxiety, a lot of my symptoms would disappear. In fact, I know so! When I am anxious, my symptoms of both MS and Parkinson’s exacerbate. My toes get more numb, my balance is off more, and it’s much harder to walk. One of the worse symptoms is my back tightens up to the point of severe stiffness and burning. My dyskinesia also is much more evident. Let’s just put in this way. IT’S NOT FUN! I normally have to go home, if I’m out, and lie on ice or heat. It’s hard to sit for long periods of time because I stiffen up too. It’s like my back is a board. So, anxiety is the pits. Then fear kicks in. Fear of what is to come.

I’m trying everything to relieve my anxiety. I go to psychotherapy, have seen a Naturopath, meditate, workout, do Yoga, did acupuncture, take lots of medication, and have a Parkinsons coach. BUT, I am afraid of the future. I’m afraid of the word “progressive”. What does that mean? My neurologist told me I have a chronic progressive disorder. So, in my head, that’s what my thoughts are. In PD, you loose dopamine. But our bodies make dopamine. Why can’t we make what we loose? I am so frustrated!

I have read books about Parkinson’s Recovery. It is possible, but not probable. There are ways to slow down the progression..

EXERCISE, EXERCISE EXERCISE IS THE KEY! The problem with that is, some days I am so nauseated from my meds or so tired that exercising is the furthest thing from mind. But on those days, I do a little bit of walking and stretching. Parkinson’s is a movement disorder; I have to keep moving!

I have to tell you, when I am happy, with people who accept me unconditionally, my anxiety melts away. I tell one of my best friends, “if I didn’t have anxiety, my life would be a lot better”. She laughs every time I say it! Susie is the best. With her I have no anxiety! So, being with her is just the prescription I need!

1994 My surprise 40th!

Anytime I’m with a good or best friend, miracles happen! Thank you god for giving me those girlfriends!

2016. With Jo!

2019 My 65th birthday!

My anxiety seems to disappear. And, as I have said many times, my family has a similar effect. Especially, my grandson, Shay Madden!Shay relaxing in Gamzey’s bed!

Family at Jessica and Abdo’s wedding! Can you find me?

When I’m not alone and am with my friends and family, life seems much happier for me! Bye bye anxiety!